All too often we wait until a time of trauma and tragedy before taking the necessary steps to protect ourselves and our loved ones. For a married partner, widowhood (or widowerhood) is one inevitable tragedy we like to think of as "the unthinkable" - until it is upon us. Then the surviving spouse can readily fall victim to fear, depression and loneliness, and abuse, exploitation or neglect. Legal and financial matters are ignored or poorly addressed, and the survivor winds up an easy prey to victimizers of the elderly.

Using a "Planning Checklist" and reviewing it at least once each year - with the help of your loved ones and professional advisors - you can avoid much of the added tragedy associated with widowhood.

The"Planning Checklist"

1. Make pre‑planning and estate inventories:

a. List all vital documents and where they are located.

b. List all professional advisors (attorney, accountant, insurance agents, financial advisors, stockbrokers, etc.), including telephone numbers.

c. List all physicians and other health‑care providers (and their addresses and telephone numbers).

d. List all assets by category and location.

2. Give copies of the above lists to your loved ones and other key professional advisors.

3. Consider the use of a Will and Living Will and understand the differences.

4. Consider a Living Trust.

5. Execute a Durable Power of Attorney and other advance health‑care directives (appointments of pre-need guardians, health‑care surrogates, "DNR" orders, etc.).

6. Review all insurance policies with appropriate professionals.

7. Know the location of all your financial materials, checkbooks, statements, bank‑books, records, accounts, receipts, tax returns, safe‑deposit boxes, etc. Make sure that your loved ones know where you maintain these vital materials.

8. Prepare a budget reflecting your monthly income and monthly expenses.

9. Consider pre‑funeral arrangements.

10. Review your overall estate plan (your will, trust, etc.) at least every three years.

11. Consider long‑term‑care needs and long‑term‑care planning.

12. Review and update your own personal "Planning Checklist" once each year.